Veiled Muse | Bitter-Sweet

tumblr_mdhclzLd0c1rgfuxjo1_500

My sweet,

Why do you tremble so

Whenever I approach

And bitter eyes of hollow

In my direction turn?

Why is your tongue so stern

And whence is hid your play?

If only such another

Could weave its malign blood

Into my own again,

Its call I would obey.

Forgive my truant heart

Its skipping beat, and know

That since your favour’s loss

This madness is my gift:

A sightless horror born

Of sugared spleen, and cast

Into a writer’s pen…

Adrift.

*

Picky Tongues

Broken Time

angels-in-love-moonlight

For a few seconds she relived the chasm before an idea was able to solidify, take shape. Time stood still, refracted in a moment of weightlessness. The wheel turned, speeding backward faster and faster one sequence after another.

Winter retreated into autumn. Snow melted into rain. The river bolstered its darkened waves. A curtain of sand, floating upwards, drapes of luminous particles.

One moment, only one moment awaited in that deserted landscape. A moment of abandon, she — at one with the world that brought her into being.

Let go now and everything comes to an end.

A point of pressure recovered just in time and she swerved to a stop at the bottom of the slope. Lungs starved of air. Invaded. Then clouds of wispy steam escaped her nostrils. It felt like breathing ice.

The steep warp of the mountain stooped behind her. She didn’t dare look back.

 

Related articles: Shards of Sanity and Unfaithful

Shards of Sanity

skiing-picture-wallpaper-004-1024

She stood alone at the top of the mountain, surrounded by a sea of bleached snow. Strings of evergreens lined the periphery of her sight, burrowing deep into the horizon. Falling, always falling, an incessant curtain of white.

The boundaries of direct-less space canvassed her sensory experience. Her mind was clear, empty of fear and hope, moving in stillness, at one with the icy precipitous vastness. At once she pushed forth, her body entrusted to the pull of gravity.

Downward. Sliding. Faster and faster. A solitary sail against the wind. One thought, her only point of reference ahead: nothing matters. She accelerated. Ten miles, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, fifty-three, fifty-six miles per hour. Her body — a disintegrating flash of light.

When you plummet disoriented into the abyss… are you floating?

 

Related article: Unfaithful

Straitjacketed

People|Fred Mount Photography

People|Fred Mount Photography

Ice. Caught in fall, mid-air.

Hear me rage.

Ignoble fates, tracing the hatred raw,

Relentless on the page.

Yours is the pause,

The question bled upon the edge.

Mine – final push

To purge all off the ledge.

 

Once noble hands

My deepest knowledge clawed.

Of serpent tongues

Unyielding rave applaud

Where torture found a way

To be refined,

Splitting my soul in two,

It dredged my mind.

    

In madness lost

I watch the crown’s power

And paint its tragic hold

Upon the hour.

Hear the heartbeat drum

And shatter silence

A bard of old – stirred up

In crippled violence.

Unfaithful

Reflections

What do you see when you look in the mirror? And the mirror? What does the mirror see when it looks into you?

She wished that she could reach into that other world and demand a decision. Not a small decision about this or that part of her life, but a momentous decision… That all-changing look the other way. She had been searching for answers in all the wrong places, trying to avoid making a choice. It was madness to even think it. Could she leave all behind, start again? Will she?

– How do you feel?

– Trapped. Trapped by promises I’ve made in good faith and can no longer keep. Trapped by a sense of duty.

– Why do you waiver?

– Because of what I have to forfeit if I stay.

– And what is that?

– Love.

– Are you certain it’s love?

– No. It is not. It is the chance to find it out.

– Only the possibility of it? It does not seem like much to give up…

– You wouldn’t say so if you felt the way I do.

– How do you feel?

– Resentful. Resentful of the life that has entrapped me with its shine and lustre. A life that had me… domesticated. I used to be a wolf. I hunted my own prey. I’ve lost my hunger. That hunger was all that I had. It drove me forward through this pointless, purposeless existence. I am sated and discontented. I want to find the wolf within again.

– What’s stopping you?

– What I have to forfeit if I leave.

– Security?

– No. It is not. It’s so much more than that. I would be cut out from my pack, ostracised from the world that I spent a lifetime building.

– And won’t you take the risk? Walk out of the door?

– I am too afraid. I fear the unknown. I fear being alone, helpless, with no one to care whether I live or die. I fear that all that awaits me on the other side is the abyss… endless misery and untimely death.

– Then you must conquer your fears.

– How can I?

– I do not know. It is a mystery.

Does it speak to you, that face beyond the pale? It was only a mirror – a reflection.

Twinned lives. One decision. Infinite possibilities.

vicbriggs for HarsH ReaLiTy

*

This article was first published as a guest post on HarsH ReaLiTy: http://aopinionatedman.com/2013/11/10/unfaithful/ with the following reblog message: My fourth contribution to HarsH ReaLiTy is somewhat of a departure from the rule. It is a snapshot into the inner world of a woman whose life is falling apart, and who slowly, but surely descends into madness. She thinks that what’s at stake is her marriage, her life as she knows it. But what she does not yet realise, is that in delaying her decision, she risks losing her sanity.

Madness: Thinkers Welcome Aboard.

Madness does not come easily. It’s not something that can be accomplished overnight. It requires unswerving determination and commitment.
Along the way there will be many attempting to bring you back to sanity. Many more will make light of your madness. Others still will try to persuade you that you may be many things other than mad.

But stick to it. Don’t give in. If you reject madness, you give into convention. For what is to be mad than to see the world otherwise than you’ve been taught to see it?

Reality is not linear. Like a mirror that reflects fixedly our beliefs about the world, its synchronicity depends on its remaining whole. Shatter the mirror and you have hundreds, thousands, – countless variations. Madness rests somewhere between mystery and opportunity.

If I look one way when I’ve been compelled to look another, something’s changed. If I don’t replicate exactly the behaviour that is expected of me, something new comes into being. See?

Only children, philosophers and madmen contend with questions about death and the meaning of life. I’m no longer a child, not yet a philosopher… where does that leave me?

I think, therefore I am… mad.

L0031760 Sir Charles Bell, The anatomy and philosophy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

vicbriggs FOR HarsH ReaLiTy

*

This article was first published as a guest post on HarsH ReaLiTy: http://aopinionatedman.com/2013/11/09/madness-thinkers-welcome-aboard/ with the following reblog message: This is my second piece for HarsH ReaLiTy. On madness. You may think it somewhat of a departure from yesterday’s post, but humour and madness have a long history together. More often than not they go hand in hand. Think of the King’s Fool: The Entertainer. The Thinker. The Madman. Thought you would appreciate some thematic continuity. Think! Be Mad 🙂

Unfaithful

My fourth contribution to HarsH ReaLiTy is somewhat of a departure from the rule. It is a snapshot into the inner world of a woman whose life is falling apart, and who slowly, but surely descends into madness. She thinks that what’s at stake is her marriage, her life as she knows it. But what she does not yet realise, is that in delaying her decision, she risks losing her sanity.

Madness: Thinkers Welcome Aboard.

This is my second piece for HarsH ReaLiTy. On madness. You may think it somewhat of a departure from yesterday’s post, but humour and madness have a long history together. More often than not they go hand in hand. Think of the King’s Fool: The Entertainer. The Thinker. The Madman. Thought you would appreciate some thematic continuity.
Think! Be Mad 🙂