I cower at your feet –
A docile body –
With no thoughts of its own
But those of your creation.
Identity depleted
Of jagged edges all:
I am like him
And he is like the next.
In this – our condition –
Of quieted un-freedom
We are amalgams of the same.
Are these the truths you seek?
Are we – such things of pity –
That you crave power over?
Yet know that yours won’t be
The only truth to reign
And we shall turn
The tide against itself.
And should our power fail us
We shall imagine sabres –
Or teeth of steel –
To give home to our spleen.
*
Writing Challenge: The Ray Bradbury Noun List Twist
2. Your nouns. Create a list of at least ten nouns. (If you can think of more, great, you’ll have more nouns to choose from.) Write a new piece using at least five of the nouns on your list.
My list: Modernity, Freedom, Identity, Creation, Condition, Action, Rulers, Power, Truth, Existence.
I love the way words were used in this wonderful poem.
Thank you so much. Making the list was rather more difficult that I had imagined, but it would seem that my subconscious already had a theme in mind.
I love the poem and image equally, both strong, vulnerable, deep, exquisite. Your line: …I am like him
And he is like the next…. evocative of existence and time. Beautiful work.
At times the obstacles that we encounter appear so great that we become strangers to our own capacity to act. I hoped to capture both our vulnerability and our strength (lest it remains occluded). A very thoughtful comment, Elisabeth. Thank you.
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I am back to comment on your poem, Vic – beautiful, just beautiful, and the image perfectly complements your evocative words.
Thank you, Lee-Anne. I promise a longer reply when I get a little more time on-line. Hope you are well.