Yesterday I had another visit from a Benedict Cumberbatch fan. I thought little of it to begin with; there is after all a steady stream of visitors for that particular set of stories. Yet there was something that did not sit well with me about this particular reader: the manner in which they had formulated their search. So here is what I have to say to my accidental visitor.
To whom it may concern:
While I appreciate your custom, let me make one thing clear: this is not an information hub for Benedict Cumberbatch’s whereabouts. In truth I am astounded that in searching for his address you should have ended up here. How many pages of Google results did you have to read through to reach my post? Don’t answer that. I was sufficiently intrigued to retype your search terms and give the engine a try, but in all honesty tired of scrolling through for a glimpse of my blog’s signature after the first five pages came up empty. That must have been one epic search.
For the length of a moment I thought that perhaps you were looking for a way to send Benedict some fan mail. However, since you bypassed the information on offer on Cumberbatchweb, I had to drop that particular line of reasoning and conclude that it was his personal address you were after. Ahem.
If my powers of deduction have failed me, feel free to circumvent what follows. If not…
There is a very good reason why people – and celebrities more so – keep their personal contact details under wraps. Beyond a simple desire to be able to step out of one’s front door without having to wrestle a crowd of nosy strangers, there is also the matter of risk to one’s bodily security to take into account. Yep. I do refer to stalkers.
The term may be often attributed to fans in a jokey manner, but the reality of being stalked is no laughing matter. Take it from someone who has been unfortunate enough to have experienced it, and that without the label of a celebrity in toe: it is downright terrifying.
As a writer, I may occasionally indulge in borrowing London settings for a meeting with a fictionalised Cumberbatch. I may even go one step further and share knowledge of his actual preference of a place if, and only if, that information is already public knowledge. You will not find on this blog his (or anyone else’s) home address, phone number or personal email address.
So… If you are in the mood for a laugh or a little Benedict-day-dreaming, feel free to stop by whenever you have the time or inclination. Otherwise, I’m afraid I can’t help you. Nor would I be willing to if I could.
If you remain undeterred beware, according to Tim Walker, Mr. Cumberbatch has been known to request the services of our be-helmeted police service to ensure that his privacy would be respected. Better not let it come to that.
Cheerio.
vic briggs 
Well done, Vic…handled with grace and aplomb (the nerve of some people!)
Thank you, Lee-Anne. I couldn’t quite believe it. Surely no one would go to these lengths to meet their idol. There are some truly scary stories about stalkers turning violent and I have to admit this incident rather unsettled me.
nice post
I’m afraid the topic that prompted it was less nice, still… Thank you.
A literary dissection. (Mental note: don’t annoy Vic)
Haha! Thank you for the smile, Richard. Was I really that cutting? I rather thought I erred on the side of caution. 😉
It was masterful
Well in that case, please accept my humble thanks 🙂
Ok, I will LOL
I don’t know if I told you this, but I was thinking of starting up a no-strings attached award for my favourite bloggers, especially those with whom I enjoy conversing on a regular basis. Haven’t quite decided on a name as yet, although there was some inclination towards calling it the “Whisky Award” 😉 – You know: sharing a virtual drink and the like. What do you say?
I’m useless at such things, so all I heard then was birds chirruping LOL
Will put it on the back burner until I can think of the best way to go about. Meanwhile: hope you’re having a lovely day.
Thank you. You too
Bloody well said, Vic – like your style! What a creepy little t***er! xxx
Right? My friends tease me about my Cumberbatch “obsession”, but I have to say it never crossed my mind to seek him out in his own home. That would certainly be one creepy development. Some people it would appear, forget that there is a distinction between a person’s public presence and their private life. Surely everyone deserves a little peace of mind in the safety of their own home?
Exactly! I quite agree. Some people think that public prominence means that all boundaries (and basic decencies) go out of the window; that in some odd way, you have signed on for being stalked when you become famous! xxx
It is appalling that this should be the case, and yet you are right, Ali, unfortunately so many people do subscribe to that notion: if you are famous then you become public property.
I think the media too has promoted this kind of attitude through their continued voyeuristic publications. They argue that they have to supply information about celebrities because the public demand it, but I rather believe that they create that demand as much as contribute to the personal information overload.
Creepy!
Tell me about it. Hairs standing on end over here.
Hey vic, you got a real stalker!
I would be proud if a girl would stalk me, have any friends that would want to be my stalkers?(wink wink, winking here)
Be careful what you wish for – cliché expression, but it does fit here. The word gets used lightly far too often. Believe me, Charly, you don’t want a stalker. That is one scary experience I would not wish on anyone. Now admirers are quite a different matter 🙂
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I am intrigued what your take on this issue will be. I’ve had a very busy couple of days and was unable to keep up with my reading and writing on WP – lots of catching up to do over the weekend.
Very Creepy person. What amazes me the most is how polite you were in telling him off. American’s are not that polite and that’s sad.
Thank you, Luanna. I wanted to make my point without alienating the reader. After all, manners cost nothing and the message was too important to risk sabotaging it by being too harsh too soon.
you are so right….maybe you could write a manners post separate from this one aimed at the uncivilized people across the pond.
Oh, I would not wish to sweep all with the same brush. We have quite as great a crisis of manners over here. I’m not certain when the decision was made to bypass politeness, and could only begin to guess at the reasoning behind it, but unfortunately the phenomenon is too wide spread to ignore. I will have a think about it. Thank you for the suggestion.
When I visit my cousin in North Walsham I am in awe at the politeness. The “me” generation, who don’t understand that you can express an opinion and still remain polite.
My daughter call me last night very upset after a girls night out, seems one friend left the table and the others started talking about her and her boyfriend. She told them it was wrong to talk behind someone’s back, that if you can’t say it to their face don’t say it.They then got mad at my daughter and said they would never say something like that to someone’s face. She left and walked home (small town in Ireland). She asked me if she was right and I told her yes she was and it’s just wrong to talk about a friend behind their back if it’s mean spirited. And if she ever walked home alone again she was grounded and had to sit on the naughty spot (where her children have to go when they misbehave). She was crying when she called and laughing at the end.
There was a newspaper column called Miss Manners when my children were growing up that we would read. The writer died. You would be wonderful at doing a blog like that.
Some people lack skill, tact, and know no curer for their obsessions, when all they need to do is stop, and untether from said stalk, and get on with ones own life. Identity hunters remind me a lot of the booming obsession towards theatrical reality programming, street gossips, and partyline stalkers (that’s one from the wayback machine). Have to agree though, it’s strange how some people operate a search engine..
I agree, Sean. I’ve come across many a strange search term since joining WP. Some I will let pass without comment, but others creep under my skin and make me shudder.
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HI Vic! I made a clerihew poem about the Batch and thought to mention your blog if that’s okay. If not, I could remove it. Wouldn’t want more stalkers coming to your blog. 🙂 Here’s the link: http://tinfinityandbeyond.wordpress.com/2014/04/08/a-clerihew-dedicated-to-the-batch
That’s quite alright, Christine. Will let you know if any “stalking” resurfaces, but I think we are safe enough for now. Look forward to reading your poem.