PROJECT R in session #17 Anonymous

          1. On Failure. What does love mean to you? What constitutes a failed relationship? What about a successful one? Did you ever think of yourself as a failure because a relationship came to an end?

– First of all, as far as I am concerned there is no such thing as failure ever … never ever. 🙂 It’s just about different experiences from which you learn about yourself and about others.
– Love… hmmm It is something that can never be fully expressed through words, because with every attempt to do so, you actually get further away from its essence…
– A broken relationship – look at the answer above. There is no such thing.
– A successful relationship…  I don’t believe in “success” when it comes to relationships. That’s something constructed by dull people, lacking depth of feeling. Every relationship has its unique aspects that make them exceptional in a special way .
– Nothing is ever stable, so anything that starts, transforms. The course? That depends of the two in question. 🙂

          2. On Being Flawed. Are you more comfortable on your own or in a relationship? Do you think there is something wrong with people who cannot or would not sustain long-term relationships?

– In life it is customary, natural and beneficial for everyone’s personal growth to discern that there are alternate phases. This is the only way to tell the difference. Only in this way you can become complete (whole) through your life experience.
– Long term relationships are not necessarily the key to great success. So… I believe that any relationship, whatever direction it may take, requires conscious involvement. In fact, your level of consciousness determines the reality/quality of these relationships. It is as simple as that. 😉

          3. On Eros. Do you require a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled? 

-It depends where in your life journey you are, because your needs will differ from period to period. But healthy for the soul is an amorous nourishment to measure 😀

          4. On Soul-mates. Do you believe that there is a soul-mate for everyone out there? Do you ever feel that you are only half of the equation, and will be ‘lacking’ something until you find someone to share your everyday life with? 

– Surely there must be more than one soul mate for each in a lifetime. You are fated to meet many others, as each of them will make complete a different part of you and vice versa. You live with each at a different level of intensity. Life is not something pulled from a Xerox machine, and you will never behave the same way in each “different” relationship (that’s why they are different) 🙂 It’s so fascinating to let life surprise you. 😀
– It’s nice to be able to distinguish between love / completion and attachments / ambitions etc.

          5. On Self-Love. Do you think that to be loved by others you have to love yourself? What does self-love mean to you? To love, can it sometimes mean letting go? 

– The most crucial question of all. From self -love starts everything else. Self-love, self-esteem and confidence: these three ingredients that cannot do ok when separated. And equilibrium in life we have only if we work to balance all three. The rest is delusion / expectations that result in a chain of suffering.

When you are ok with yourself, you get the same in return. What I ‘ve learned so far, is that life is primarily about you, and the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Others do nothing but mirror what you are. Some you may have as guides, others as enemies, but finally everything refers back to you. It is with you that the rapport with everyone else begins.

          6. On Fulfilment. Can we only find fulfilment in others, or is it possible to be happy and find contentment in our other accomplishments, whatever our relationship status?

– Fulfilment is first of all an inner state. You interaction with others reflects clearly your inner state; the rest is deception / distraction from the main person holding the brunt of responsibility in this equation. Does someone else breathe in your place? 🙂 Does someone else orgasm in your place? (your orgasm is an accumulation of states generated by your capacity to open up – mainly, then – the real compatibility, ambient circumstances etc., etc.). 🙂
– When you’re in a relationship where things start to scathe, if there is no willingness to overcome that hurdle, it’s ok to retire. It is about self-esteem, because the role of saviour / victim is not healthy in the long run. 🙂

          7. On Interpersonal Skills. Are people in relationships simply better at ‘people skills’ than those who are not?

– It depends on the nature of each. We all take from life the “best” lessons in order to discover and reach an equilibrium, but this is contingent on many factors, and each of us develops qualities throughout life to different degrees depending on the experiences we have. 🙂

          8. On Project R. Do you think this a worthwhile project? In what way, if at all, did this project help you think through the question of “relationships”? Feel free to add here any other thoughts you may have on the subject that was not covered by the above questions.

– It’s ok, it’s a vast topic with a multitude of layers and worth discussing, but mostly worth living directly 🙂