Have your love-life ever been subjected to the scrutiny of self-fashioned armchair psychologists?
……….. only after red wine and Bob Dylan albums………………..
1. On Failure. What does love mean to you? What constitutes a failed relationship? What about a successful one? Did you ever think of yourself as a failure because a relationship came to an end?
Early failures were really ‘If you’d only change completely you’d be perfect’. I failed to see the bleedin’ obvious. Other relationships were short and sweet as we both grew up. They were successful in their own lifespans.
2. On Being Flawed. Are you more comfortable on your own or in a relationship? Do you think there is something wrong with people who cannot or would not sustain long-term relationships?
I’m in a long distance relationship, so we make every moment together really count. I’m comfortable being alone too, so my flaws can be practiced alone. Nothing at all wrong with being single.
3. On Eros. Do you require a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled?
It’s a good place to start, but intimacy replaces eros eventually. That’s fulfilling.
4. On Soul-mates. Do you believe that there is a soul-mate for everyone out there? Do you ever feel that you are only half of the equation, and will be ‘lacking’ something until you find someone to share your everyday life with?
I think there’s more than one out there. It’s always a compromise, but start with shared likes, not shared dislikes.
5. On Self-Love. Do you think that to be loved by others you have to love yourself? What does self-love mean to you? To love, can it sometimes mean letting go?
It helps. I don’t know about self love, but I don’t mind myself. I’m ok. No letting go, but compromise.
6. On Fulfilment. Can we only find fulfilment in others, or is it possible to be happy and find contentment in our other accomplishments, whatever our relationship status?
As I said, I know lots of people who are ‘alone’ but perfectly happy, creative and fulfilled. Fulfillment comes from within; you can’t expect someone to do it for you.
7. On Interpersonal Skills. Are people in relationships simply better at ‘people skills’ than those who are not?
Not necessarily. My people skills can be lacking at times.
8. On Project R. Do you think this a worthwhile project? In what way, if at all, did this project help you think through the question of “relationships”? Feel free to add here any other thoughts you may have on the subject that was not covered by the above questions.
This is a good use of a blog, instead of the usual me me me (i.e. as in my blog). I did help me think about how I’m living.
Photo by The Ambtitious_Drifter http://ambitiousdrifter.wordpress.com/
Title: ‘After the wedding’….. someone’s heart in the gutter.” Or, “a bright heart shining in the gutter.”