PROJECT R in session #11 Iuli

          1. On Failure. What does love mean to you? What constitutes a failed relationship? What about a successful one? Did you ever think of yourself as a failure because a relationship came to an end?

Me: A failed relationship can be a great opportunity to start a new and better relationship. Like the saying “All evil is for good”. A successful one is worth making compromises for. The fact that my ex relationship failed was the best thing that could have happened to me.

          2. On Being Flawed. Are you more comfortable on your own or in a relationship? Do you think there is something wrong with people who cannot or would not sustain long-term relationships?

Me: I am much more comfortable in a relationship than on my own. There is not necessarily something wrong with the people who cannot or would not sustain long-term relationships. Some of them may simply have not met the right person and are clever enough not to lose their time with someone that does not meet their requirements. Yet again, some of them may be afraid to commit for different reasons.

          3. On Eros. Do you require a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled?

Me: I do require a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled. No career compares to the love of your loved one.

          4. On Soul-mates. Do you believe that there is a soul-mate for everyone out there? Do you ever feel that you are only half of the equation, and will be ‘lacking’ something until you find someone to share your everyday life with?

Me: I hope everyone finds their soul-mate as I believe I found mine. Maybe in a few years I will feel different, but the fact that I felt this for a second/minute/hour/day/week/month/year means the world to me.

          5. On Self-Love. Do you think that to be loved by others you have to love yourself? What does self-love mean to you? To love, can it sometimes mean letting go?

Me: I don’t know what to say. I usually put the loved ones in front of my own self.  I believe it is important to love yourself in the sense that loving yourself means requiring respect from the other one.

          6. On Fulfilment. Can we only find fulfilment in others, or is it possible to be happy and find contentment in our other accomplishments, whatever our relationship status?

Me: Of course it is possible to be happy and find contentment in our other accomplishments than marriage and children. It is not probable, yet possible.

          7. On Interpersonal Skills. Are people in relationships simply better at ‘people skills’ than those who are not?

Me: I think being in a relationship has nothing to do with ‘people skills’ in general.

          8. On Project R. Do you think this a worthwhile project? In what way, if at all, did this project help you think through the question of “relationships”? Feel free to add here any other thoughts you may have on the subject that was not covered by the above questions.

Me: If it helps at least one person in any way, it is definitely worthwhile!!


9 thoughts on “PROJECT R in session #11 Iuli

  1. Dear Iuli, thank you for your contribution to Project R. I loved your honest and straightforward answers. I would be curious to know whether you believe our view of relationships to have been coloured by our experiences as an adult, or whether we continue to hold on to our views – however unconscious and difficult to pinpoint – that we acquired as children and/or teens.

  2. Love your answer to question 5. Reading the question, I’ve always instinctively thought the answer should be “yes” but couldn’t quite have explained why. You’ve hit the nail on the head – you need to be able to feel that you’re deserving of respect. As Jane Bennett says in the BBC adaptation of Price and Prejudice (provides a quote for all occasions!) “A marriage where either partner cannot love or respect the other, that cannot be agreeable, to either party.”

  3. Victoria, you are so welcome !! Regarding your question, I believe that our view of relationships is influenced both by our experiences as an adult, as well as the image we created during our childhood and/or teenhood. The extent to which each of these factors influences our view differs from one person to another.

  4. Pingback: PROJECT R: Relationship Interrupted Completed | vicbriggs's blog

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