Depression: Silence of Being Ignored Feels Like Loss

Depression: Silence of Being Ignored Feels Like Loss.

“I’m sharing this post in the hope that it will help others going through a similar experience, as well as those who are close to them and wished they could find a way to help. Depression can be as just as tough on friends and loved ones.”

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My reply

Dear Julie,

Your post moved me. I am glad that you have overcome your depression and that you are better now. Your message is an important one. It is so tough to share how we feel when we are depressed, that it is vital for us to have the courage to explain to loved ones what depression does to us, what it makes of us, how it skews our perception of the world and those around us. That way, they’ll be able to read the signs, be there to help when we need them.

When I started getting suicidal thoughts, what kept me going was the belief that my family and friends cared about me, that they would not want for anything bad to happen to me, and that ultimately they would miss me if I were gone.

I am lucky in that respect, that even in the deepest thralls of despair, I still had their love to hang on to. It did happen sometimes that when I would try to reach out I would be ignored or dismissed, but I never thought it to be out of malice, or out of a lack of care. I always assumed that I had not been forthright enough, open enough about what I was going through.

It is tough for someone who has never experienced depression to understand it. It is not that they do not want to, but they simply lack the necessary tools to do it. Many people find it tough to deal with it. They feel helpless and sometimes it is easier to run away.
I am sure that you have more people in your life who care about you than you think or feel when you are depressed. They might just not be very good at showing it. When they ignore you, it might be nothing more than their being wrapped up in their own problems and unable to find the head-space to respond.

Continue to reach out. It is better than keeping silent. When you are happy, make the most of it. Your friends will miss the sunshine in you when it’s gone and will want to light it up again, feeling certain that dawn is not far.

Warm regards,

Vic

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7 thoughts on “Depression: Silence of Being Ignored Feels Like Loss

    • It is heartfelt. Having so recently spoken up about depression, I was touched by the support of those dear to me, and even of those who have only met me briefly in the past. It also opened my eyes to how difficult it is for those who do not suffer from depression to find a way to help, the strain on relationships as a result. Thank you, nofaithpoet. I do hope that this will be of some use to others in similar circumstances.

  1. Fantastic, brave and loving, Vic; I am so glad this subject is being aired. By an odd coincidence, my post for today also touches on mental torment. Ali xxx

    • Thank you Ali, I’ll read your post next. It is a difficult topic, but yes, I’ve finally come to understand how important it is that people speak about it. It’s so much easier when you don’t carry it alone. x

  2. Viki, thank you for being so vulnerable. It’s difficult to explain the feeling to those who don’t experience it. You’ve done it admirably. Thanks so much for reaching out to the rest of us. Loved, too, your post on Project O. Am about to comment positively on it as well. Will be following you. You are a blessing not-in-disguise.

  3. Pingback: Back where I started – Depression | The X-ray of a relationship

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