“I’m sharing this post in the hope that it will help others going through a similar experience, as well as those who are close to them and wished they could find a way to help. Depression can be as just as tough on friends and loved ones.”
Your post moved me. I am glad that you have overcome your depression and that you are better now. Your message is an important one. It is so tough to share how we feel when we are depressed, that it is vital for us to have the courage to explain to loved ones what depression does to us, what it makes of us, how it skews our perception of the world and those around us. That way, they’ll be able to read the signs, be there to help when we need them.
When I started getting suicidal thoughts, what kept me going was the belief that my family and friends cared about me, that they would not want for anything bad to happen to me, and that ultimately they would miss me if I were gone.
I am lucky in that respect, that even in the deepest thralls of despair, I still had their love to hang on to. It did happen sometimes that when I would try to reach out I would be ignored or dismissed, but I never thought it to be out of malice, or out of a lack of care. I always assumed that I had not been forthright enough, open enough about what I was going through.
It is tough for someone who has never experienced depression to understand it. It is not that they do not want to, but they simply lack the necessary tools to do it. Many people find it tough to deal with it. They feel helpless and sometimes it is easier to run away.
I am sure that you have more people in your life who care about you than you think or feel when you are depressed. They might just not be very good at showing it. When they ignore you, it might be nothing more than their being wrapped up in their own problems and unable to find the head-space to respond.
Continue to reach out. It is better than keeping silent. When you are happy, make the most of it. Your friends will miss the sunshine in you when it’s gone and will want to light it up again, feeling certain that dawn is not far.